


Together

by protectoroffaeries



Series: Looking Glass [4]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Past Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-30 10:28:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8529547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/protectoroffaeries/pseuds/protectoroffaeries
Summary: “I would rather make mistakes in kindness and compassion than work miracles in unkindness and hardness.” -Mother Teresa





	

Reid is released from the hospital on the third morning after the night he was admitted. Hotch gives him strict orders to take some time off, and Morgan thinks Reid is grateful that he doesn't say much more.  Hotch has always been something of a paternal figure to the group, and these leads Morgan to speculate that he blames himself for not noticing Reid's emotional state. 

Or maybe he realizes just how fucked up it was to lie to them about Prentiss’ death.

It's also been three days since JJ broke down and told Morgan the truth. Morgan is not over it. The rational part of his mind has points out that the less people that know, the safer Prentiss is. But the larger part of him,the part that vividly recalls holding her, bloodied and bruised and  _ impaled _ , as she died, is pretty damaged. 

And he isn't the only one. Morgan knows that Prentiss’ death is probably what pushed Reid over the edge, the match that lit the kindling of years of other issues. Reid, who Morgan also held as he bled and suffered. Reid, who had a panic attack upon hearing the news that Prentiss is alive and well.  Reid, who is a bright and brilliant kid with so much to live for, yet he's floundering in darkness. 

“Morgan,” says the kid himself, interrupting Morgan's thoughts. He's just finished checking himself out of the hospital (under the agreement that he'll stay with someone else for the rest of the week - that someone being  _ Morgan).  _ He's dressed in some clean clothes that JJ retrieved for him when she went over to his apartment. She cleaned up the mess Reid made, too. She's trying to make up for not telling Reid about Prentiss, but Reid hasn't forgiven her yet. Apparently, she's been his shoulder to cry on since Prentiss’ funeral.

Morgan has forgiven JJ. She was put in a difficult position, torn between friendships and orders. She came clean when she realized just how deeply it affected Reid. She's trying incredibly hard to make up for her silence. It's with Hotch and Prentiss that Morgan still has issues.

“Yeah? You ready to go, Reid?” Morgan asks. 

Reid shuffles over to him, eyes downcast. He hasn’t said much since Morgan told him about Prentiss, and Morgan knows that he couldn’t have picked a worse time to tell Reid the truth. But he couldn’t face Reid knowing what he did. He tried, and he couldn’t.

“Yeah,” Reid says. They leave the hospital behind for a parking garage, where they find Morgan’s truck on the 5th level. Reid slides into the passenger seat without a word, but Morgan notices how he eyes the droplets of blood he left there days before. They’ve dried now. They’re never coming out. Reid rubs his bandage. 

The ride to Morgan’s apartment is an equally silent affair. It’s not until they’re in the door that one of them speaks again. 

“Reid,” Morgan begins, but thankfully Reid interrupts him. He didn’t know what to say, just felt like one of them had to say  _ something _ . 

“Do you think we’ll see Emily again?” Reid looks him in the eye as he asks, and Morgan see how deeply troubled he is reflected in them. Morgan suddenly wonders if he knows people can see it. If that’s why he’s been staring at floors so much lately. 

“Maybe, if we catch Ian Doyle.” Morgan pauses, but Reid doesn’t say anything, and the kid really deserves someone to be straight with him right now. “I’m not sure I want to see her again myself.”

There Reid’s eyes go. Back to the floor. He rubs the bandage again. Morgan thinks it’s becoming a nervous habit of his. “I’m furious at JJ,” he whispers. 

“I know. JJ was put in a tough place, though.”

Reid scoffs. “Well, I’m sorry for putting her there, then,” he says bitterly. 

“You didn’t-”

“It shouldn’t have been hard, Morgan!” Reid shouts, and Morgan falls silent. “It shouldn’t have been difficult for  _ her  _ to tell  _ me _ that Prentiss is alive! She and Prentiss and Hotch - they all know that I would die before I tell Doyle anything, if he ever even finds out he didn’t kill her!” 

Reid’s words echo in their aftermath. Morgan knows exactly how he feels - he’s already thought the exact same thing. It’s something they’re both going to have to work through and accept because they should’ve been told, and they weren’t, and that is a difficult reality to swallow. 

“I wanted to take Dilaudid, but I didn’t have any. I didn’t really… have anything to substitute for it, either. But I had this… this terrible headache,” Reid says after a moment, his voice low and thick. Morgan thinks he sees tears on Reid’s face. “I just wanted it all to stop, Morgan.” He rubs the bandage. 

Morgan hugs Reid. Not one of those awkward man-hug type hugs, but a real, comforting hug, and the kid buries his head in Morgan’s shoulder and sobs. “It’s okay, Reid. It’s going to be okay.” Reid clings to him. He cries for quite awhile, and Morgan keeps murmuring that it will be alright because he’s not sure what else he can say. 

When Reid finally pulls away and wipes his eyes with his hands, he tells Morgan, “It helped. When I hurt myself, it helped. Everything else hurt less.”

Morgan doesn’t know how it feels to be so emotionally distraught that physically cutting up an arm feels better than what’s going on inside. He does hurt at the thought of Reid hurting that much, though. No one deserves that, especially not someone as good as Reid. “We’ll figure something out. Some better to way stop the pain.”

Reid nods, but he doesn’t look like he believes Morgan. But Morgan swears to find something. He has to. Reid needs it. “H-How long is Hotch making me away from work?” 

Morgan decides not to comment on the abrupt subject change. “About a month. And you’ll have to pass a psych eval before you can go back in the field.” Which won’t be hard for Reid, considering they wrote the damn questions. Not that any sort of test is ever  _ hard _ for Reid. 

“Dammit,” mumbles Reid.

“Sorry, pretty boy.”

Reid gives a humorless chuckle. “I’m not pretty right now.” It’s true that his eyes are red and puffy, his hair is an untameable mess, and he looks like he hasn’t slept since before he went to the hospital. It’s true that look isn’t attractive by any means. 

“No one’s pretty all the time.”

“Not even you?” Reid teases. 

Morgan takes that as a good sign. It’s a little ridiculous, because banter doesn’t equal perfect mental health by a long shot, but it could be a step in the right direction. “I’m the obvious exception.”

“Oh, yes. Obviously.” Reid looks at him, looks him in the eye, and Morgan believes once again that Reid will be alright one day. He has to do that, too. Because Reid needs someone to believe it for when he can’t believe it himself, though Morgan hopes that Reid does believe that he’ll get better because that’s vital.

“I think I need to call JJ,” Reid says suddenly. 

“I think that’s a good idea,” agrees Morgan. 

“Thank you.”

  
“Anytime, kid.”


End file.
